idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
