sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
