Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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