We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
