sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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