ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
