im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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