I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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