U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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