butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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