So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You smell like stripper and shame
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here