Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.