So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
