According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
