why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
