They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
