that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
