Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
