i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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