I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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