I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize