When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
