playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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