Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
