you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
