you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
