i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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