I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
