What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
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we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
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When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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