You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
