So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Someone signed my nipple.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
