drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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