oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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