kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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