i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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