wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize