You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
