Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
