he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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