what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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