her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
