everyone is single if you try hard enough
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
