You made me cry and you don't even care
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
