Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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