Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
