you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
