Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Porn is love you can see.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
