i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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