I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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