i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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