so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
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The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
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You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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