Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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