I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
