somebody snuck up and got me drunk
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
MIDGETS
????
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize