brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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