you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
