just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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